The one where I shopped around

I know I used the whole “The one..” thing for my last post, but I like the continuity of using it for titles (and honestly, it just is easier in my mind to come up with a title when it starts with that…weird). Anyway, it’s an inspiration from one of my favorite TV shows of all time – Friends – so I’m going to try and keep it that way 😉

This week has been all about “shoppng around” for me – not at the mall or the grocery store, but with classes. It’s our first week of class, which generally means I have 3-4 classes I’m required to take and 1 elective. Being that I’m a second semester senior and only have one requirement left to fulfill before I graduate (AHHH!!!!!) plus the one lab I’m retaking (epic sigh) I have three electives.

Leave a Biology major the choice to take whatever they want for three classes…and you have one seriously confused Biology major.

Since I took and loved my creative writing class last semester, I gravitated towards English classes. I signed up for a more advanced poetry writing class, which was at a popular time and so narrowed my other choices quite a bit. So In addition to that, I was enrolled in “Drugs and Society” (which sounded relatively interesting and I’d heard good things) and Ancient Egyptian Civilization.

Confession – when I was younger, around 5 or 6, I was obsessed with the Ancient Egyptians. I had tons of books on them and a healthy fascination with the pyramids, hieroglyphics, mummification, the pharaohs…the list goes on. Anyway, at that point in my life I asked my mom what kind of career a person could have to go to Egypt and study that pyramids. She told me that I could be an archaeologist, and that is what I decided I wanted to be! That is, until I learned that there are spiders and scorpions in the pyramids and that dream was out.

Naturally, Ancient Egyptian Civ is right up my alley – and the professor is amazing. He’s youngish, funny, and has presence. So that class is in.

Drugs and Society came right after my instant love experience with Egyptian, so admittedly I had high expectations. If my Egyptian prof was so great, why wouldn’t this one be? After all, drugs can’t be made boring! They have a mystique that is inherently interesting.

If anyone could kill drugs, this professor could. He spoke in a monotone the entire time. And so, that class was out, to be replaced by an Intro to comparative lit class that I’d try out the next day before my poetry writing class.

Long story short, the comparative lit class also crashed and burned as well as the poetry writing class, which I am definitely sad about. The professor was extremely uppitty about poetry and really critical, which is not something I was looking for in a class. I kind of just wanted to chill and write a few poems…but that wasn’t in the stars for her. The comparative lit class was just plain boring, and this is my last semester so I decided not to stick with classes that weren’t interesting.

So, I set out yet again to find two electives that fit my schedule and seemed interesting and not too hard. Keep in mind the senioritis-factor here.

I found Human Bonding – which I’ve heard great things about, and which has one of my best friends in it. So that’s in. And a history class called Ancient Greece – from Homer to Alexander. I have always loved history classes and figured that since I loved Egyptian so much this one could be good. I haven’t been to either of these classes yet, but I’ve seen the syllabus for each and I’m just going to stick with them.

Aside from that, part of our team is tapering right now (the group I’m in) which means we’re resting for a meet that’s next weekend to end our season. One of us – whoever swims the fastest – will go on to compete at the championship meet at the end of the season.

Before classes started, all i could think about was how much I wanted to swim at the championship. I have swam at it all three years I’ve been on the team, and I’ve been a finalist at the meet multiple times. But right now – I’m feeling a serious lack of urgency. I find myself day-dreaming about what life is going to be like after swimming, almost in a fantasy-type way. I’m so excited about being able to do whatever I want. And I kind of want that to start in a week and a half (after our last dual meet, which my group is tapering for) rather than at the end of February, which the other group is getting ready for. I’m just excited to be able to do things on my terms – go to office hours that I miss because of swim, go to yoga or go for a short run or to a spin class with my friends, read on my couch. I’ve felt physically fatigued this week, which is a normal phenomenon of the taper period but also makes me wonder if my body and my mental focus can even last another month.

Of course, I want to swim fast at my last meet…if next weekend ends up being my last meet ever. Instead of drawing conclusions from these feelings I’m having, I’m just kind of letting them flit around. If I was having these feelings last year or three months ago, I would have blamed myself and called myself “lazy” and a whole host of unpleasant things. Now I realize that it’s healthy, feelings are just feelings and wanting to be done with swimming doesn’t make me a bad person. It just means I’m curious and want to expand my horizons.

I’m heading to the library to review my organic chem before my lab lecture today. I didn’t learn much the first time around, so I’m just going in with an open mind and going to try to learn slowly this time. That’s all for now! 🙂


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One Response to The one where I shopped around

  1. Sarah says:

    Your attitude is amazing, Kim! It really really is! You’re absolutely right about not being lazy. Feelings are just that…feelings! They come and they go. In my ed support group we talk a lot about how what you’re feeling at a given moment doesn’t define you. For example, if you’re feeling depressed it doesn’t mean you ARE depressed…it just means you’re feeling depressed. Depression (or whatever other feeling you’re having) doesn’t become your new identity.

    Congrats on being almost done with swimming! I’m not an athlete, but I’ve heard many say that they have a love/hate relationship with their sport of choice. It seems to be normal to feel as you are.

    Also…Human Bonding sounds super interesting! You’ll have to share what it is about.


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